And their eyes met and he smiled. They both knew. And there was nothing to say about it. The physical acknowledgement of a smile was not even necessary. But it made it go through more smoothly than anything else. They could have gone their ways without smiling while still knowing, or they could have stopped to talk at length and in details about it all, but a smile was the simplest and most effortless way to share that moment.
Now that they knew it, there was nothing to do about it. Nothing to get excited about, nothing to exploit, nothing to make money from, nothing to show to impress others, nothing to indulge in, nothing to share. All these years she had been struggling with her thoughts, with her emotions, her motivations in life, her mission, her responsibilities, right and wrong, people, family and lovers, government, authority and rebellion, the planet, religion, God, what to eat, what not to, whom to listen to and where to go, what to do. She had been struggling with all these and with the attempt to put an end to it all. She had desired freedom, enlightenment, release from the world of illusions; and now, all of these looked like one thing. The struggle and the quest were not different from the destination she had reached. It all formed part of the same thing. She had been enjoying and suffering but the drama was worth it, like any good movie with the right doses of tragedy, comedy and drama. The more intense it was, the more she had got a kick out of it, while searching for the end of it all at the same time. Like playing blindfold. Why would you intentionally put a blindfold on your eyes and play around when you could see clearly without? It makes it more fun. That’s what she had been doing, intentionally wearing the blindfold to make it more fun, while wishing to see more clearly.
She had struggled a long time to get rid of the blindfold. But now she had taken it off. Nothing much had changed. The sky was still blue…and purple and orange and grey at times. It still got cold in winter and at night. She still got hungry and she still went to the toilet. The body was just the body. Was she anymore than the body? Was she anymore than the individual soul? Was she just part of the universal soul? Or was she the totally of it ? Or was ‘she’ just an illusion? And all there was was ‘it’?
The separation between she and it had become more and more ambiguous and she had begun to wonder if that was not the only illusion that had to be dispelled for everything else to fall into place.