“There is nothing more attractive than confidence, once she sees her own beauty, everyone else will.”
― Habeeb Akande
No, beauty does not emanate from confidence. Beauty emanates from nothingness, from the Origin. It was there since the beginning. It emanates from yourself at birth. It emanates from the original, genuine you. Ever noticed how beautiful children are, in their own right? Such individuality, such uniqueness, no trying to be like others, and yet each so differently beautiful. Where does beauty go then? We lose confidence. We think theirs is the good way to look and be. So we think ours is wrong. Deep inside we know we are truly beautiful.* But we become shrouded by doubt and we start seeking validation from others to say we are beautiful. And others? They will jump on the first occasion to find your weakness spots and tell you you’re not, because they themselves are not confident enough and need to bring you to the same level or lower, so that their ego doesn’t feel threatened, so that it feels good. You don’t need anyone to confirm that you are beautiful. Be confident, know it, own this truth like you did as a child, and so your beauty shall shine again.
* How I can confidently say that everyone knows they are truly beautiful, that they just have doubts is..by looking at very unconfident people asking people on the internet to look at their pictures and to tell them whether they are truly ugly or not. I’ve seen this a lot. And it shows that they don’t really believe they are ugly. But they have accumulated these doubts and other people’s opinions, so in the end they begin wondering: “Is that true? Could that be true? I need to get settled on that.” But if they were just by themselves, if there were no validation needed from others, they’d have no problem, because they don’t feel ugly. Because they are not ugly.
“Damn, I would say she’s the reincarnation of some goddess, if I believed in reincarnation. But you get my point. I can’t seem to be able to take my eyes off her. She blows me off every single time. How does she do this?”
“Yeah, right. Even when she isn’t here, she manages to blow me off! If she knew what all she’s done and where she’s been in my fantasies,…man!”
“She’s by far the smartest woman I’ve ever seen in my life, seriously mate! She’s even smarter than the ones on the top lists around the world! Take my word for that.”
‘Smart’..uh..what? Isn’t sexy or beautiful the word you were looking for?
Imagine a parallel world where sexy has been replaced by intelligence, and how women are judged upon their brains rather than their looks: magazines rank them according to how smart or witty they are, and men too go gaga over this asset of theirs, while ‘beauty’ is relegated to some less-important level.
That would be absurd, right? And oh so unfair!
Isn’t the actual world, where it’s beauty/sexiness which is used as such a unit of measurement and judgment and ranking just as absurd and unfair?
Think about that.
Do you know the archetype of the sage or wiseman? With the long flowing beard, playful and reassuring eyes and enigmatic smile. The one who does not speak a lot, but appears randomly and unexpectedly, and pours down subtle but powerful pearls of wisdom. The one who has so much power on people he could make them his slaves, if he wanted. Like Gandalf and Dumbledore, or Osho or the ancient Indian sages, gurus or a powerful celtic magus or Merlin l’Enchanteur or Lauv or Rumi.
Take this archetype and put it in the body of a little girl. Wisdom has no age, no sex, no physical appearance, right? So there is no reason this could not be possible. What about a story on that? The all-knowing, wise and enigmatic little girl whom everybody else does not take really seriously at first glance, but who goes through the world making little changes and paving the paths she takes, with flowers and light.
You could say Ang, from ‘Avatar: The last Airbender’ is an example of this. But it’s not. Ang is still childish, learning and prone to the turbulent emotions of a young child. Remember when he went to the indian sage, the Guru to learn to open his chakra and about his own fears and stuff? Well, the girl i’m trying to portray does not need to go through all this. Because she already knows all one can teach. She is at the same level as the Guru et compagnie. (Actually there’s no level, but this is the easiest way to describe it).
This is Soko:
This woman’s personality, innocence, childishness and surreality resonates so beautifully with all that I feel deep inside.
From My Ex-Boyfriends:
“No, you don’t even deserve to have your name in a crap song
So i wont say your names…
“The name of number two
Started with a K
It should have started with a C
But he thought K was cooler”
“Ô Rama!” Sita wouldn’t move on, but not moving on didn’t change a thing. At least, she had no regrets, I hope.
And she got a flashback of a particular memory. The music to her ears felt like how it used to feel at that time in her memory. The scene flashed in front of her eyes and she could perceive minute details of it in the panorama. She got so immersed in the recollected scene at one moment that it became a continuous, unbroken flow of events in front of her eyes. What she was seeing and hearing belonged to the time of the memory: she followed consecutive slots of the memory without concentrating back on the events that were unreeling in the present, the ‘now’. Gradually, she entered the memory so fully that she began reliving it. But this time she was there as a third, silent observer, who couldn’t pause to think but only participate in the unfolding of events as they were happening there.
At one moment she became so entirely ‘there’, that she could shake off and become in control of her body as a third party there. It was not her physical body but it was damn powerful, swift and super light. It felt very playful and energetic as well. A little bit like Casper the friendly ghost. Except it was herself. Her ‘future’ self, but not really future as she would realize later. It was her self that was outside of the time frame.
As she became more familiar with this ‘new’ dream body in the memory, she found the powers that it possessed and the extent of things she could do in it. And as she grew more familiar, she also grew more comfortable and more powerful. Then it happened. She broke the thin film that separated her ghostly presence from others’ perception and she was able to make her presence known to them. She started interacting with them (with her past self and the other people present in the memories). But there was a problem at first. How can her future self interact with them without disrupting the flow and happening of events that would lead to her going back to the past in the first place, unaware of anything.
The ancient seers of Indian American tribes found something which just fills in the missing part of the puzzle. They found that there was a state of heightened awareness that most people and usually shamans enter where magical, miraculous and spectacular, irrational things happen that defy all laws, but once out of that state, nothing is remembered of it. And while in this state, you still function and go about doing everything normally as you would in a normal setting simultaneously. Once out of the state, it is only this normal routine that you will be conscious of having done.
Therefore the future self travels back and lives experiences with the past self at will and all the time, and all that is remembered is kept to that state of heightened awareness. Also in this state, the flow of events has no continuity as it is constantly being altered and time ceases to exist. Therefore, the future self is no longer future as everyone is just travellers, passengers passing by this memory, and even the real participants of the memory are in this special state.